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A hilariously funny joke from our vast collection.

Category of Funny Jokes: Doctor and nurse jokes

Funny Jokes:

Why did the nurse keep the bedpan

A baseball manager who had an ulcer was

A coffin was being moved when it fell

A doctor and a nurse were called to

A doctor and his wife were having a

A doctor has come to see one of

A doctor is going round the ward with

A man goes to the eye doctor. The

A man needing a heart transplant is told

A man walks into a doctor's office. He

A man went to see his doctor because

A man who was very upset walked in

A man, seeking to lose some of his

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw

A nurse had to take a patient back

A nurse was showing some student nurses through

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He

A young woman went to her doctor complaining

An old fellow came into the hospital truly

At a medical convention, a male doctor and

Camp Doctor: Your cough sounds better today! Camper:

Did you hear about the nurse who died

Did you hear about the two podiatrists who

Did you hear the new penalty for speeding

Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. Take

Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. Take

Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits! What, you

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone. Are you

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So

Doctor Doctor I'm so ugly what can I

Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking

Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking

Doctor these pills you gave me for BO...

Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia

Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion

Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the

Doctor, Doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar I

Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a

Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a dog! Sit!

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a needle. I

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep. That's

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon! Well

Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple. We

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the

Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold Don't

Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning

Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning

Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing double. Please sit

Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a spider

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire.

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a woodworm

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two

Doctor, Doctor I need something to keep my

Doctor, Doctor I need something to keep my

Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep

Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses You

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bridge What's

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a butterfly Will

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog. How

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a moth Get

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a python You

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a snail Don't

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo. Are

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder Great,

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an electric eel

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm turning into a

Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar! Have you

Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar! Have you taken

Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming invisible. Yes I can

Doctor, Doctor I'm boiling up! Just simmer down!

Doctor, Doctor I'm having trouble with my breathing.

Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's

Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's

Doctor, Doctor I've a split personality Well, you'd

Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two

Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth, foul breath

Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give

Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen Well

Doctor, Doctor I've lost my memory! When did

Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image of

Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet Well

Doctor, Doctor my husband smells like fish Poor

Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed

Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's

Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she is a

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen,

Doctor, Doctor what did the x-ray of my

Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger

Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger

Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my

Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my

Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!

Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me -

Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my

Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my

Doctor, doctor! said the panic-stricken woman

Doctor, doctor, can I have a bottle of

Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.

Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep. Sit

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of

Doctor, Doctor, I keep dreaming of bats, creepy-crawlies,

Doctor, Doctor, my little brother thinks he's a

Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like a

Doctor, how do I stop my nose from

Doctor: Did you know that there are more

Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature

Doctor: Good news you passed your hearing test!

Doctor: Have you ever had this before

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing

Doctor: You need new glasses Patient: How do

Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health.

Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health.

Fireman rescued a man who was badly injured

How can you tell who is the head

How many doctors does it take to change

How many nurses does it take to change

How many nurses does it take to screw

How many physiotherapists does it take to change

How many triage nurses does it take to

Interns think of God, residents pray to God,

Jack went to see the camp nurse. 'I

Jack: My brother was sick and went to the doctor

Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.

Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John,

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the

Nurse: Would you like an appointment for next

Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me,

Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.

Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women,

Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under

Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.

Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I

The doctor said he would have me on

The Doctor was puzzled I'm very sorry but

The ninety-year-old man was in for his checkup

The nurse who can smile when things go

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude

The patient: Tell me, is it TRUE that

The seven-year old girl told her mom,

The surgeon told his patient that woke up

There were ten zebras in the zoo. All

Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting

What do you get if you have strep

What is a double-blind study

What kind of physician works on a cruise

What's the difference between a general practitioner and

What's the difference between a nurse and a

What's the difference between a surgeon and a

When a car skidded on wet pavement and

Why are you so excited

Why did the nurse always insist on using

Why do blonde nurses bring red magic

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